communication

‘Blocked’ by anger….

Anger can be intentional, unintentional, as the root cause may be justified or due to social modeling. We mimic our families, our friends, our communities. Anger is also misinterpreted because people raise their vocal tone, thus sociolinguistics is an important field in the matter at hand. Some forms of anger have helped us revise laws and policies and bring to the table many issues for discussion.

Key words ‘bring to the table’ — communicate.

People are angry about the lockdowns, refuse to wear required facemasks, guidelines are not followed. Justified is anger for people who lose their jobs and may not be able to pay rent or put food on the table. But, does anyone know of any government that would ‘welcome’ riots, unless they are not in their right minds!? We see what is happening across the globe. A continual global crisis largely perpetuated by our current state of events due to COVID. People do not know what to believe, have lost trust in their governments.

Furthermore, there is anger about “rights of workers” — including cleaning personnel, service workers, transport, teachers — some realistic, some not. The individual “right” may be lost in the wake of a public health crisis as we are living now across the globe. But does your individual “right” get in the way of logic?

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  • Do 12-year-olds (younger and younger teens) truly understand or deserve to have their schools taken over by SOME interest (largely political) groups in ‘protest’ who don’t allow them their RIGHT to be educated? All have lost many school days from this past year, and their parents keep losing days work.
  • Bus drivers “can’t wear” a mask 😷 that is mandated by law because “they drive 5-7 hours daily”, yet the serving staff can all day? (this was a recent ‘statement’ by a local political union leader).
  • Why don’t we have those who say “there is no CoVid-19” meet and discuss with those who get sick 🤒 and have been hospitalized, hopefully get well (without identifiers for anonymity) better understand the permanent damage that may occur for some (seems mainly in their lungs from what we hear?!). Great that many ‘make it’ but please why do you say ‘they fake it’? Why make it political…..?
  • Young people don’t understand their “right to party” turns into possibility of being a “spreader” and historically there have been plenty of these examples — check out the story of “Typhoid Mary” (a.k.a. Mallon). This individual logical wish for developmentally appropriate behavior (socialization, rebellion) coming in contrast with public health.
  • Let’s keep TALKING about wants, needs and the availability of resources. One’s right cannot overcome another’s particularly in times like these.
  • Books like The Anger Trap can help us better understand our own and other’s patterns…. because we need to salvage what we have and BUILD relationships, not destroy due to anger….!

“ANYBODY can become angry, that is easy; but to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the right purpose, and in the right way, that is not within everybody’s power, that is not easy.” This is what the Greek philosopher Aristotle, stated more than 2,000 years ago, in his classic work The Art of Rhetoric.

See more about the ‘Upside of Anger’ on https://www.newscientist.com/article/mg21729032-700-do-get-mad-the-upside-of-anger/
Photo by Dominika Roseclay Pexels.com

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Waiting time, me first!?

Yesterday I was waiting in line at the bank as they had changed their system in the last five months so those in the que needed to have numbered tickets. Summer is also a time with a lot of ex-pats and visitors to countries who may have no idea of the way things are done or changes and indeed a new system could create several communication issues…

I happened to ask a question and one of the few employees (think cut-backs and vacation time so it was the so-called “skeleton crew”) and she had directed me to an odd looking stand with a digital button to receive a number for the que. There were primarily older people over 70 years, one whom I’ll call “Gus” and one mid-lifer (45-50 years) who sat down after me, started listening to music singing to himself whom I’ll call “Dick”.  What came to unfold was another case of personality traits up against digital – access literacy.

Gus was talking to me about the cuts in his social security and his disappointment with the current leadership and how he doesn’t see for the last three years any improvements. In fact, on a functional societal level it’s been the worst ever and the damage has been done for years to come despite these articles about Greece getting out of debt (well financially banks have gained and all Greek tax payers have been squeezed like no one can imagine since WWII!) a good one by Ms. Stamouli for the Wall Street Journal (link WSJ). Gus it turns out had not gotten a number for the que, so when the number changed Dick sprang up and in essence cut, even though he clearly saw the people waiting before him.

Gus: “Sir, sorry but it’s my turn in line” (Dick first ignored him, looking at the bank teller).

Dick: “Well this is my number”

This is where I had enough and said to Dick “please don’t tell me you didn’t see the people waiting here in front of you AND you see it’s obvious the man is older and likely didn’t know he had to get a ticket?” (no response just looking at us and the teller).

Bank que number

Waiting time 10 minutes on average

At this point, the teller was going to allow the older man to go in front, but Dick (true to his name) didn’t budge, so Gus just said “it’s ok…it’s obvious to me this man doesn’t have courtesy”. I got up gave Gus my ticket and got another one glaring at Dick. You guessed it, we waited until Dick was done, as I said to Gus loudly for Dick and others to hear “You see if you’re dealing the ‘me-first’ people there is no point in talking sense to them…” Gus agreed as did a woman next to me and of course we continued pleasantly to talk about a group, maybe even a newer generation of people who are oblivious to their surroundings most of the time including to those with special needs or elders, pregnant women, etc. there is such a need of mindfulness training!

Personality traits like narcissism, digital literacy, corporate and human communication….hmm….don’t even get me started about the tailgating and “me first” attitude on the roads!